Bill outside impossible location

This one was excellent. In spite of my 'flu' i gave a great show. It was really good except for the fact that somehow the signed bill did not end up where it was supposed to. What a little surprise was to see that the bill was not in there after all the build up for the grand finale. I thought it was stuck somewhere inside the bag (i do a signed bill to bag of chips) but no no, that signed little bitch did not slide down the rolled playing card.

The bill was inside another bag which is the one that holds the bag of chips. I took it and 'produced' it from my shoe. I don't know if they bought it. I did not care much, i tell you. All the previous stuff was great. I was 'on'. Lots of comedy.
One particular joke finally fell in its place. You know when you fool around with some joke or idea of a joke and it never gets the laughs you know it has to but one night the wording is correct, the timing is the one and BOOM they laugh? That happened :)

When i arrived at the place some guy with weird vibes opened the door. He said ' i know you '. We had a little convo and it was strange. I could not get what he was saying. He says 'What? a Magician? What Magician?'. After a minute or two i enter and go to the living room to wait for my time. This same guy passes me by and gets inside the bathroom. 5 minutes later comes out with red eyes and a stoned look. He was doing coke. Comes to me and says ' don't fuck with me ok?'. Jesus christ. I got a little frightened and avoided eye contact. I say ' ok i won't ask you to pick a card ', he says ' oh no no, that i want'. Then he told me that once we met in a disco and lots of garbage i could not understand due to the fact that he was stiff like a statue.
What a jerk. I hated his guts. This same idiot kinda heckled me when i did the show. I ignored his stupid little threats. Poor bastard.

I'm a great entertainer. Very good one indeed. This is not only the truth, it's also a dose of good ole affirmations :)